The Trouble With Joe

This is the third installment of a series on improving our business mindset:

I. Big Money, The Long Game, or Feeling Human
II. Did You Make the Worst Choice?
III.The Trouble With Joe

Improving how we think and make decisions is our goal in this series. I confess to having been guilty before letting social expectations (running in the same circles), ego (he’s impressed by me), or greed (potential to be very lucrative) make my decisions for me, and they have not served me well. So let’s talk about Joe and why he makes me a little uncomfortable. His deal received equal votes in our reader feedback, but I’m much less sure than our readers seem to be.

To recap, we’ve been working through a typical time-sensitive dilemma that entrepreneurs face regularly, if not daily. We are forced to choose between three competing priorities: an immediate, potentially highly lucrative business deal with an acquaintance named Joe (The Hustle), a significant, long-term professional growth opportunity via a limited-enrollment Mastermind with a respected instructor named Jan (The Growth), or the simple path of self-care and prioritizing time with loved ones (The Recharge). The Mastermind application window is closing, and Joe's deal requires quick action, meaning a choice for one path means immediately missing the opportunity for another.

As background, I have personally been part of many joint ventures and business partnerships, and one thing I know for certain:

It doesn’t matter how great the deal is, it’s always the people that make it or break it.

While I remain relentlessly optimistic, and I adamantly refuse to accept the old adage that, “The only ship guaranteed to sink is a partnership,” even I have to admit that there is some wisdom there.

To refresh, this is the information we are working with:

You’ve met Joe at networking events multiple times and you’ve been running in the same circles for a couple of years, but you don’t know him very well.

You made some very insightful points in an all day Saturday class two days ago that he also happened to attend, and he was newly impressed by you. He called you this morning to discuss with you privately a deal that has landed in his lap. He thinks that you are the exact right person to partner up. Joe has shared some of the details and the project has the potential to be very lucrative, if you both work pretty hard and move quickly. You also happen to have enough capital to put into the opportunity from another deal that recently came to fruition.

My discomfort with Joe

• Was Joe really struck by my insights in that Saturday class, or by the capital that I recently cashed out from another deal? To be clear, there’s nothing inherently wrong with being more interested in my capital than my insights – this is business and capital is necessary. There is something wrong with being deceptive about it.

• If we don’t know each other very well, then what makes Joe think that I am the exact right person to partner up? And what makes me think I want to partner up with him? If we’ve been running in the same circles for years, why don’t Joe and I know each other very well?

• I need to understand very clearly what each of us is bringing to the table and that, as previously mentioned, I’m not letting social expectations, ego, greed, or other unhelpful emotions make my decisions.

Also, I am prone to pause when I have to make a decision quickly. As humans, our emotional nervous systems (our feelings) respond 15 times faster than our cognitive functions (our thinking brains). See my “Deep Dive” on the “Neurobiology of Instinct: Your Second Brain is Listening.” Hint: Your gut feelings are mostly legit – science has proven it. Granted, we’re measuring in milliseconds. (There is a super cool comparison simulator on the “Deep Dive” site.) But my deeper concern is why someone wants me to make a quick decision. Why don’t they want me to take the time to really think it over? Maybe it’s because there is an external deadline, and maybe that’s simply the justification being used to disguise a hidden agenda.

My standard response when it comes to decisions that have a strong potential for substantial negative impact is, “If there is not sufficient time for me to become comfortable with a ‘yes,’ then my answer has to be ‘no’.” You are welcome to adopt it as your own, if you like.

What will I regret least?

For me, I would rather regret losing out on a deal that turned out to be great than regret embarking on a deal that I didn’t take sufficient time to assess. Transparently, that stance has had its own relationship costs, as well. People often don’t like when they think you’re dragging your feet, and they have the right to deal with their own emotions, too.

If we use a process of elimination for this exercise in business mindset:

• Choosing more than one option is the worst decision because of the total expenditure of Capital of Self. (See Did You Make the Worst Choice?)

• If I can’t be reasonably confident about a “yes” with Joe, then I have to say “no.” Note: If you find yourself trying to be convinced of a “yes,” then you probably already have your answer.

• Next week we’ll take a deeper look at Jan’s Mastermind to discuss how we can make the best decision in that regard. While Joe’s deal represents the danger of speed, feelings, and trust, Jan’s situation highlights a different challenge: the nuance of alignment.

If you haven’t responded yet, or if you have responded and you’ve changed your mind, I’d love to hear from you. Which one would you choose? Email me at [email protected] and say “Joe,” “Jan,” or “Me” to let me know.

To be continued...